Join a Group

When I first arrived in Paris, I was alone and somewhere that I didn’t know. It was a time before the internet and I had very few outlets at my fingertips to meet people. It took longer than it does today to make those connections.

I went to school to learn French, and this is where I made a few friends. I was newly pregnant, so I wasn’t going out at night to bars and nightclubs; therefore, my social life was limited. I was told to join a few groups, but I didn’t want to do it. I’d heard that there was an American women’s group in Paris, but I didn’t see myself joining something like that. It was a mistake on my part.

After spending most of my pregnancy alone, I would finally join an English-speaking mother’s group. It was a British nurse (an older woman) that would point me in the right direction. When I was about 7 months pregnant I went in for my checkup, and she probed me a bit about my life in France. When she realized that I didn’t have many friends, she handed me a pamphlet for a group that would change my life. She had one left. She made me promise to call the number when I got home. I must have looked at it every day for a week until I finally mustered up the courage to dial the phone number.

When I did, there was a very nice American lady on the other end of the line. She was married to a Frenchman like myself. She invited me to the next coffee morning, which would be happening in my area of Paris. I was so nervous. I knew very well how to get to school, but I now needed to find my way to this address I had been given. I think I looked at the map 50 times to be sure that I knew where I was going. I even made my husband do a dry run with me over the weekend to be sure of what I was doing on the day. I must admit that I am a city person, but I sometimes find it daunting to be in a city I don’t know when I’m alone. Especially one where I don’t speak the language. Remember, these were early days, and it was my first experience away from my home. 

In any case, I went to my first coffee morning for new Moms, and I left with a phone number or two along with a few more meet-ups scheduledin the days to come. It changed my life. I started to get busy. I looked forward to seeing new friends, and it helped me to discover Paris. This would be my first lesson in how important it is to get involved as soon as possible.

Join a group that’s offers something that you like to do. I read somewhere that we, as humans, all feel the need to belong to a group. Knowing this, it is important to find a group to join that suits you. It doesn’t matter if that group comprises of people who like to collect different color buttons. The only important thing is that you all like to collect buttons and this is why you’re all there. It is the best advice I ever read. 

Many moves later, I have found that it is important to have somewhere to go. The beginning is always a bit lonely, so you must find a reason to get up and get out of the house. I usually seek out a gym or a tennis club. I have made many friends over the years doing this. If this is not your thing, it is easy today to join or even create a group. Apps like “Meetup” are an excellent facilitator of such activities. Seek it out and make sure that you take part. The sooner you do it, the quicker your life in your new home will take shape.

You only need one! This is my motto, and it’s true. Find the one person that you know you can call at 3.00 in the morning if you need to. You will never feel alone, and life takes off from there.