Thanksgiving

Why at some point I decided to stop celebrating

It’s Thanksgiving today and that makes 31 years that I have not been there for this special day.  In those 31 years, I did go to a couple of really nice Thanksgiving celebrations where it was a big American gathering.

I stopped celebrating thanksgiving after about two years of living abroad.   I found that it was a lot of work and unless you’d grown up with it, no one seemed to get it.  For my kids it was a school day and it just didn’t feel the same.  So, after a couple of attempts at keeping it going I decided that what I loved most about Thanksgiving wasn’t where I was.

I missed the excitement of preparing for the day.  Who was coming or where were we going?   What time was the football game and who was going to the bar later to catch up with everyone.  It was always loaded with excitement.

When I anticipated the yummy dinner we’d have, I’d wonder if there’d be any additions to the menu.  How many pies would there be?   I always hoped for pecan and pumpkin.  Just thinking about it all I can smell my Mom’s kitchen as she peeked in the oven regularly to baste the bird.  Mmmmm.  It all smelled delicious.

I loved helping my Mom set the table.  On Thanksgiving we used the good stuff.  I remember reaching into the antique buffet to pull out the beautiful white China.  I’d very carefully help as we placed each plate on the dining room table.  We’d then get the crystal and the silverware and finish dressing the table.  We had serving spoons, a gravy boat and a couple of beautiful trivets to place all of the different dishes there’d be.  The final touch was the cloth napkins.  The table looked beautiful and I couldn’t wait!   

I remember my mother coming to inspect my hard work and she was always very pleased with the result.  She’d then dig out some swirly candles (always blue) and fit them into the pewter candle holders.  We’d light them just before we sat down.

Most years we spent Thanksgiving with our good friends, the Nagan’s.  They were my parents friends from New York.  My brother, Ted was good friends with their son and that’s how that began.  They, too had moved to Boston.  We took turns every year and it was always a great time.

Each year there was a moment during the meal where we all had to say what we were thankful for.  This is so powerful.  It was a moment of pause to voice what blessings you truly felt.  I loved it.  We also would remember those who were no longer with us or simply just couldn’t be there.  Often it was a moment to acknowledge the good fortune to have the friends and family that were sitting right there. I feel a tug just thinking about it.

After the meal we’d play games.  So fun!

When I think about Thanksgiving today I have nothing but great memories.  I sometimes feel guilty that I chose to ignore this holiday and not share it with my kids.

I guess it’s a day that always makes me feel homesick.  I miss my family and I miss the US.  I also love how everyone really seems to be thankful on this day.  It’s so positive and living here it is just impossible to explain and trying to find that feeling of gratitude is a tall order.

I guess not everyone misses it like I do but I suppose I’m lucky to have grown up with this wonderful feeling of celebration.

So, on this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for that.  Being raised to celebrate life and appreciate how lucky we are.

Happy Thanksgiving 🦃

Provence, France - 2023